An Imaginary Translation Poem-My Take on Poet Federico Garcia Lorca's "Paisaje"

Here is the original poem:

La tarde equivocada
se vistio de frio.
Detras de los cristales,
turbios, todos los ninos,
ven convertirse en pajaros
un arbol amarillo.

La tarde esta tendida
a lo largo del rio.
Y un rubor de manzana
tiembla en los tejadillos.

Here is my first translation draft of the original poem:

The mistaken afternoon
I'm dressed for the cold.
Behind the windows,
It's cloudy, all of the kids
see the changing of the birds
in the yellow tree.

The afternoon was spent out
along the river.
And a blush of an apple
trembles in the roofs.

Hmmmmmmmmmm......it doesn't sound quite right.

Let's try again.

Here is the second translation draft of the original poem:

I'm dressed for the cold
in the mistaken afternoon.
Behind the windowpanes,
the sky is cloudy, and all of
the kids saw the colorful
birds in the yellow tree.

I spent the afternoon
Along the riverside,
when a blush of an apple
falls from a tree.


Now that's more like it!